It’s Just Jenny. Innit.

Mother. Wife. Life Loverrrr. A Little Bit Whiny.

  • Am I.. finally old?

    I’ve never really had what you’d call a pan-chant for younger fellas. Always that bit older. Much I think to my Dad’s irritation with lads as a youngster. “For chuff’s sake, who’s this now” he’d mutter… Liam Gallagher was my number one crush as a teenager. The whole Manchester thing he had going down was…

  • Mother Chuffing Shingles I’m Old.

    What’s the first thing that springs to mind when someone says “Shingles”? I’ll you what. “Old people” that’s what. It’s an old person thing innit. Well, for the second time in 18 months, I’ve had Shingles. This time on my face and I can’t help but think that the Chickenpox of adulthood, is out to…

  • Here we go again.

    Here we go again. Ding ding lockdown round two, here we come. Chuffing hell, how the chuffers have we got here? Sometimes it feels like the neverending story (if you’re over 35 you’ll appreciate the reference, if you’re under 35 and wonder what I’m spouting on about, google the shittest kids film of the 80s).…

  • My inner old lady…

    Tonight I was stood in the chippy, minding my own business (for once), when I could feel to the left of me, someone staring at me. Actually, staring was an understatement. So I turned and looked and there with absolutely zero fucks and even less shame, was a chap old enough to be my Grandad,…

  • When Harry Met Fucking Sally and blew my mind..

    On a long flight recently, vodka and coke in hand, belly hurting from laughing so hard and tears streaming down my face from crying like a little bambino, I watched ‘When Harry Met Sally.’ They say in life you encounter thunderbolt moments (Wayne says he had one when he saw me at a wedding and…

  • I’ll fucking deck you.

    “I’ll fucking deck you” Honest to God, these are words I never thought I’d hear myself utter, never mind to a complete stranger in the city of London, on a tube. But I did. And I would’ve decked the dickhead I uttered these words to, had a young Scouse giant not intervened and saved me…

  • I’m divorcing my husband.

    I’m divorcing my husband, he just doesn’t know it yet. When we got together he promised the day I stop laughing, is the day he leaves. I, in turn, promised that I’d shave my legs daily (listen up you feminists, before you go cray cray on me, this was something I promised, Wayne frankly couldn’t…

  • Time.

    Time. You think you’ve got loads of it, don’t you…. Remember the summer holidays as a child, when you didn’t know what day it was, you only knew it was lunch time because you were called in by your Mum and came home only when the street lights popped on. I miss that feeling of…

  • This is worse than coming off crack.

    Ok so just to clear things up, I’ve never been a crack head. The strongest legal drug I’ve ever popped is a co-codamol (excluding whatever I threw down my neck during childbirth that is) but this is what I feel like a crack head feels, when they’re coming off the hard stuff. I’ve given Coke…

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